# Poetry

By Keir Apperley:

  so sobig is having a dig at my rig
  no probs, mailscanner gonna throw me
  a spanna to sort out my bug
  now all i want to do is hug and jig!

All by Nick:

  I hear that your mailbox is full
  With Klezzes and spam stuffed with bull.
  With mailscanner it's better;
  You can read every letter,
  And still spend the night on the pull.

  To make sure it's efficient,
  An MTA proficient
  Will use a queue,
  And so should you -
  Other methods are deficient.

  When writing AV scanners
  It's really just good manners
  To output clear
  What we should fear
  And avoid pulling tricks list this^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hlong-winded banners.

  UNIX filenames will have spaces
  In all the most annoying places.
  Even if your code must double
  You know you need to take the trouble
  Or in the end you'll have red faces.

  Please pick delimeters with care
  Use a char that cannot live there
  If there is none
  Choose a rare one
  And when it's for real use a pair

By Bryan Manske:

  While volumes of spam I had seeneth,
  It really had quite reached its zenith,
  MailScanner deployed,
  I'm no longer annoyed,
  Nor do I have to refinance my p**is.

By Les Jones:

  Much email was sent to an Internet Man
  Whose Mailscanner determined it was mostly spam
  But quick in his mind and fast on his feet
  He thought of that most humble of meats
  And replied to them all with frying pans

By Les Jones:

  to the boxes of IN and others unnamed
  go the Devils of Spam, reckless, untamed
  and Nematode warriors bound to the MIME
  some parasitic and others benign
  but waylayed and lo, their mission deterred
  with Scanners of Mail properly interred
  and the daemons of POP and Old 25
  at the end of battle they stand and survive
  and thick as flies the messages thrash
  as their headers are flagged, "SPAMFILTERED" for trash
  though, try as they might, when cut short in their flight
  they cannot escape Mailscanner's sharp bite
  So to Admins whose living depends upon mail
  without MailScanning tools you will miserably fail
  avoid the Devil and countless Nematode sprees
  by installing MailScanner in your init.d

Contributions most welcome!

Julian Field